Did you know that November is National Family Caregivers Month? \u00a0I have found that one of the hardest parts of getting older, is seeing people you looked up to grow older. \u00a0You realize just how short and \u00a0precious life is and aging parents, relatives, even neighbors put us in the position of being a caretaker to people who took care of us.<\/p>\n

My mother died unexpectedly several years ago and left my father behind who had battled colon cancer and was much more frail than she. \u00a0Add to that they were married over 60 years and you can understand how heartbreaking it was to my father. \u00a0My mother and all of us had always assumed my father would pass first, but when the reality hit, it was so hard. \u00a0I was extremely close to my parents and so were my older children. \u00a0We lived houses from one another and I would often do their grocery shopping and drive them to appointments etc. \u00a0We knew my father was so lost without my mom and I truly think if it wasn’t for my kids and I being so close and there for him, he would not even have survived a week without her. \u00a0You do hear that many spouses together for so many years tend to die within a year of each other and my father passed 1 day shy of 365 days after my mother.<\/p>\n

It was like he hung on as long as he could, but \u00a0could not go that year. \u00a0In those 364 days, I had a new role and that was as a caretaker for my Dad. \u00a0Like I said he was heartbroken without my mom and so we would go out to dinner, I would shop for him, my family and I shared almost all meals with him and spent a lot of time with him. \u00a0Losing a parent and losing both parents really changes the dynamic in your life. \u00a0Many people just don’t understand until they are there but it cuts a buffer out. \u00a0When you are a child you see your parents there, you see your friend’s parents and your aunts and uncles and grandparents if you are lucky enough to have them in your life and it creates a secure feeling. \u00a0Death does not seem imminent, you rationalize your parents are still here and life seems like it will last forever. \u00a0When your parents pass it’s a very different feeling and suddenly the buffer is gone, you are the next generation and you kind of feel “next”. It can make even a young person feel like they only have a short time left on this earth and it’s what I struggle with daily.<\/p>\n

Many people say, “Oh you are so young, you have a young family, how could you feel like that?” \u00a0It’s something they don’t understand. \u00a0I have digressed though and much of this starts when our roles change and we become the caretakers of a parent. \u00a0It’s a very emotional thing because you are now seeing your parent become weak, not able to do things they used to and it hurts deeply. \u00a0It throws you into a sense of reality and it’s stressful. \u00a0It can help to talk to someone who knows, someone who can guide you and validate your feelings. \u00a0Many do not have that support in their lives and can feel alone. \u00a0There are so many that are caretakers for others and they deserve support and someone to reach out and say that they’re doing a great job and express gratitude. \u00a0Whether it’s your parent, relative or if you take care of others as a profession, those messages and support can mean so much. Now it’s even easier to show that support to caretakers.<\/p>\n