Tag Archives: Frustrated

My Mom Confession-I Hate Halloween!

There, I said it! I am not one of those moms who obsesses for months over the perfect costume. I don’t look forward to going out trick or treating with my kids. It is not that I don’t enjoy being with my kids, it is just that there is so much I would rather be doing with them. In fact, it is their happiness that keeps me doing it. It is nothing religious or anything like that. As a kid it was fun, but it was not over the top fun. When we were done trick or treating, I was glad it was over and actually liked answering the door for the kids and handing out candy better.

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The weather in upstate New York is so unpredictable. I can remember so many Halloweens where my kids had to go trick or treating in winter coats. You could not even see their costumes. It would be raw and bitter cold and you would go to as many houses as you could before your ears froze off. Of course our neighbors are few and far between as we live in a rural area so that means driving and with little kids that means buckling them in and out of car seats every 2 minutes. Car seats with costumes is not fun, car seats with costumes and winter coats is excruciatingly not fun.frost

On the years when the weather is nice, it is tolerable once we arrive at a quaint neighborhood in town. There we can park and walk from house to house. We meet up with friends and it is enjoyable, for a while.

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Once the chill creeps in and the kids start comparing who got what and bickering over the fact, that one got a Snickers and one got a Kit Kat at the last house.  Soon after that I will make the announcement that we are going to the last 2 houses and calling it a night. Sometime they moan that they want to do more even though their buckets are overflowing with candy and sometimes they are just as glad to be done. As soon as we get to the car, you can see their exhaustion and they are happy to be headed home.

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The worst part is when Halloween falls on a weekday. Of course, this year, it is not only on a weekday but that weekday is Monday! It is getting dark earlier, the kids don’t get off the school bus until 4:10 pm. If we are lucky their teachers will not assign the usual mountain of homework. It will still be an immediate rush to get them dressed and in the car to head out to a Trunk or Treat in town and then to that little neighborhood and hit our neighbors who want so much to see the kids and always have special things for them.

After that it will be a rush home, fighting about who got what and why can’t they eat any more candy. Then it will be showers and bedtime. After that, I will be so grateful we survived and we don’t have to think about this for another year! Oh wait, where was dinner? Where does dinner fit in here? See what I mean? It is crazy! Does any parent really enjoy this?

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Let me not forget to mention, Halloween comes on the heels of a jam-packed weekend of a Halloween Parade we all marched in down to the youth center where there were games, cider, donuts and more. On Sunday, the last soccer game of the season was on despite the torrential rain and chilly weather. Everyone was drenched, freezing and wanting to get home and warm. We all had to wait until the awards and the party was finished.

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So there is my big confession, I don’t like Halloween! There would be no argument from me if it was cancelled. If it cannot be cancelled, I wish we could all agree to celebrate it on the last Saturday of October, so no one needs to juggle all this on a school night.

Oh, one more thing, I am not a huge fan of birthday parties either.

 


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Do You Feel Like You Are Failing As A Parent? You Are Not Alone!

Raising children is not for the faint of heart. Have you ever felt overwhelmed, frustrated to the point you lose your temper and yell or scream at your kids? Do you feel at your wit’s ends fighting the same battles, day after day with your children? Is it hard for you to wrap your mind around how they cannot stop doing the things that are getting them in trouble?

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No matter what you do, the same behavior is repeated again and again. Does it leave you so frustrated that you count the hours until bedtime? Do you feel guilty for sometimes not wanting to be around your kids because of how they behave? Do you feel terrible for this and feel you are a failure as a parent? Do you think you must be doing something wrong?

You don’t have to tell me the answers to these questions. If you are a parent, it is safe to say that you nodded your head in agreement to most of these things, maybe even all of them. I want to tell you, that it is okay, you are not the only one. We will fail as parents, many times.

I picked up a really good parenting book the other day. The book is titled, Parenting: 14 Gospel Principals That Can Radically Change Your Family. The author, Paul David Tripp, is the executive director for the Center for Pastoral Life and Care in Fort Worth, Texas. More than that, he is a dad, a dad who has felt those same things.

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I will admit when I picked up the book, I expected it to be preachy and written by a man who was a “perfect” parent, who would tell me everything I was doing wrong. I could not have been more wrong. Right from the Introduction, I saw this was a parent I could relate to, one that struggled in the same ways I did. Nothing was sugar-coated, he was real and the pages are full of wisdom. It is real, he writes about situations of parents who are struggling through parenting. If you are like me, you may find their stories very familiar. Sometimes it is nice to know we are not alone.

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One of the things I think will resonate with most parents is the chapter on authority. The author says to never exercise your authority over  your child in an angry, impatient, abusive or selfish way. This means, you do not let your anger at your child’s disobedience control you so you do things you should not. For example, it means that you do not pinch, poke, slap, yank or shove your child. It also means that you do not combine your discipline with berating, condemning or demeaning talk. That means you don’t say things like; “What are you, stupid?” “I can’t believe that you’re my daughter!” and other similar phrases.

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He does not say this as a perfect parent who has never done this but as one who openly admits doing this to his son after a particularly grueling day. He admits his shortcomings but lets us know that through God’s grace we can always start new. Facts are, we will fail many times as parents and that is okay, we don’t have to feel guilty because we have that grace.

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The chapters are the 14 Gospel Principals as they apply to parenting; Calling, Grace, Law, Inability, Identity, Process, Lost, Authority, Foolishness, Character, False Gods, Control, Rest and Mercy. The author’s favorite passage in the Bible about parenting is one you might not expect. It is one of the final commandments Jesus made to his disciples.

And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and          make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit,                teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold I am with you always, to the end of the                age.” (Matt. 28:18-20)

There is so much in this book that is just profound and really hit home for me. You can read an excerpt HERE or listen to an audio click HERE. I hope you check it out and let me know what you think. You can also enter to win a copy below in our giveaway.

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Giveaway:

Parenting: 14 Gospel Principals That Can Radically Change Your Family Book Giveaway on Mommy Ramblings Rules:

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