Category Archives: Life Stages

That Call – The One That Changed My Life

It will be 7-weeks in a few hours that I got that life-changing call. The call that separated my life into the before and after. That call that made me a member in a club no one wants to be a member of. The call that forever changed our family, our dynamic, our existence and our faith. The call that gives me chills whenever I think of it. The call that made my body go into a state of numbness that scared me then, and scares me still. The call that no mother should ever get. The call that broke my heart. The call that shattered my world.

Apple, Close-Up, Electronics, Gadget, Iphone

In the past week, things hit me that I was totally numb for. I think back to the funeral home. When it was time to close the casket and prepare to go to church, I did not yell, scream or cry for them not to close it. Now, I have terror thinking of that. I am screaming in my mind now, don’t take him away, don’t close the casket. My beautiful boy, my baby, my son, don’t take him away.

Don’t deny me the opportunity to touch his hand, stroke his thick hair, kiss his face. Don’t deny me the chance to gaze on the dimple in his chin, don’t deny me the feeling of putting my hand over his. I should not have to do this. At times it haunts me as I try to remember the small café au lait spot on his leg or what his feet looked like.  I search for photos or my mind to remember. I should not have to do this. My son should be here. It is so unfair, so unjust.

The numbness lifts for minutes at a time, I can not handle more. I am thankful for that blanket of numbness that covers me and shields me from the unbearable pain.  Time goes on, it is a painful reminder of  the last time I heard my son tell me he loved me.  That was 7-weeks ago when he said that to me. I tell him every day how much I love him.

I will never stop loving him, never stop missing him, never stop looking for signs of him. I will never be ungrateful for all the signs he sends. The things he is making the Eagle and the cardinal do are nothing short of miraculous. I will never take them for granted. I pray he sends them to me.


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Filed under Child Loss, Grief, Life, Life Stages

It Does Not Get Easier

It has been 4 weeks and 2 days since that terrible call. It does not get easier. Yes, I can laugh. Yes, I can love. Yes, I can find joy. However, there is still a numbness that protects me from the overwhelming sadness and brokenness of losing my oldest son. It comes in waves and I never know when the waves of raw grief will hit. They may be triggered by a conversation or seeing something he loved. I never know, all I know is my journey through this life without him, has only just begun.

I have been reading many books about the unbearable grief of losing a child. Parents who have gone through this unbearable loss describe so much of what I am feeling. There is a kinship in connecting with those parents. In them, we see that God did not punish us by taking our child. We see they are great people, with great families. This horrid loss does not discriminate. It happens to parents from all walks of life and we never know when or if it will happen to us, until it does.

Desperate, Sad, Depressed, Feet, Hands, Folded

I never wanted to be in this club, but those other members are my greatest comfort. How can someone with an intact family truly console me? Please don’t misconstrue what I am saying. I am not saying, not to console someone who has lost a child because you have not. I am saying, there are things you should never say.

Don’t ever say you know how we feel because you have lost your mother or father or anyone other than your child. There is no word for the parent who has lost a child, because IT IS NOT NATURAL, it is not supposed to happen. I have lost my mother and father and I grieve them still, but the death of our parents is something expected. Our parents are supposed to pass on before us. Our children are not supposed to pass before us. You can never know the way it feels unless you have experienced it.

Heart, Broken, Nature Love, Shape, Leaf, Autumn, Fall

Instead, be a friend, bring a meal, offer a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on. Ask the person what they need. If they want to talk about their child, let them. If they want to talk about everything else, let them. If there are other children in the family, do something nice for them. They are seeing their parents in unbearable pain. The have lost their sibling. Their world is shattered too.

Don’t ever tell someone that has lost a child that they are laughing too soon or not soon enough. Don’t assume because someone is not walking around weeping, that they are okay. Trust me, they are not okay. Be mindful, don’t say you had the worst day of your life because you spilled coffee on your shirt. You don’t know about the worst day of your life, unless you have lost your child. A stained blouse can be replaced, you cannot replace your child.

Understand that a person who has lost a child may grow angry and lash out. They are struggling with the deepest hurt and pain. These emotions may rise up and need to be directed at something. Let them get it out, let them vent. Try not to get angry, but be more understanding of where it stems from.  If they tell you that they screamed in their car alone, don’t say they should not do that or that it could have hurt someone else. I know how hurtful that is, because someone said it to me.

The Road, Beams, Path, Forest, Nature, Silence, Calm

In one of my grief books, parents remembered how they screamed in the car and in the shower. Don’t tell me or any other grieving parent what we should or should not be doing. You have no idea unless it happens to you, and pray it doesn’t. I can tell you, you will probably be screaming in the car and shower if it does. Stop with your judgement. You do not know the broken heart of someone that has lost a child unless you have. There but for the grace of God go you. Be thankful, not judgmental.

Remember, no one knows what the next moment brings better than someone who has lost a child. We were all like you. In one moment, our lives changed forever. We will never be normal, nothing will ever be alright every again. We are changed, and our lives are changed forever. A hole in our heart will NEVER HEAL. Our lives will be measured by before and after our loss. Never take one moment for granted, because in one second you could be the newest member of this club. We were not born members.

The members of this club seem to bond almost instantly. The thing we share in common is so great, we know the pain and that fosters the connection between us. We validate each other’s feelings. We know what is like to be angry at God. We know what it is like to feel like we do not want to go on without our child. We understand we will grieve forever for the dreams that died with our child. We know how hard it is to see our child’s friends reach milestones that our child will not. We know what it feels like when someone says something that hurts us. We know what it feels like to know we will grieve this loss forever. We understand our grief is something will will manage, but it will be with us until the end of our days. We know what it feels like to be changed forever. We know what it is like to be a grieving parent.

Plant, Garden, Broken Hearts, Rose, Flowers, Nature

We also regale each other with stories of dreams, signs and other things that tell us our child is still here, still with us. We need to believe and have faith we will see our child again. We need to hear the stories of others who have had profound, undeniable signs of their child’s presence. It is what we seek the most in my opinion. It brings me comfort more than anything else.

It does not get easier. Some days are harder than others. We never know when the waves of raw grief will hit. Even if we have a good day, it does not mean tomorrow will not be bad. It will never get easier. We know that, you need to know that.

Sunset, Dawn, Nature, Mountains, Landscape, Kaçkars


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Filed under Child Loss, Grief, Life, Life Stages

Ground Floor or Top Floor? Pros and Cons of Choosing Either

For those  finally starting to live the independent adult life, it is time to look for some apartments. In choosing one, we often think about three things: price, location and  safety. However, there is one other factor that you must also consider when searching for the best luxury apartment, that is the apartment floor. Did you know choosing an apartment that is located on a ground floor or top floor can also contribute to the quality of life you will have in a particular part of the neighborhood?So, should you choose a ground floor apartment or a top floor one when finding luxury apartments Melbourne? Here are some things you need to consider:

  1. Money matters

In general, ground floor luxury apartments are relatively cheaper than top floor units. The price of the latter often skyrockets because you not only pay for space, you also pay for the view. If your luxury apartment is located in the heart of the city, the top floor view is surely an amazing sight to behold.

The downside of top floor apartments, is the higher price you’ll pay overall  for utilities. During summer seasons, top floor apartments tend to get hotter, which means that you will keep the air conditioner on more.  This leads to a higher electric bill. This would not be a problem with ground floor apartments since the cool air tends to stay below.

  1. Accessibility

Naturally, ground floor units are your best bet if you value accessibility. Garden or ground floor apartments are usually the first to be scooped up by senior citizens and people with disabilities.  Speaking of accessibility, moving in is easier since you don’t have to go up and down flights of stairs with your furniture.  If you prefer to live in an upper floor apartment, check the safety and accessibility of the stairs and elevators. Make sure to have the number of the building maintenance crew on your phone in case you get stuck in the elevator in the middle of the night.

  1. Safety

Each type of apartment has good and bad safety features.  Ground floor units have an advantage when it comes to escaping during disasters such as fire and earthquakes. On the other hand, these apartments are often a favorite target of burglars because they are easier to access since the windows and doors are along the street. Top floor apartments may have fewer chances of a  random break-in. However, it is still possible for your top floor apartment to be broken into because there are fewer people around.   If you plan on moving into an upper unit, check for CCTVs.

  1. Noise

Because ground floor apartments are right next to busy streets, outdoor noise from the rush hour traffic, shuffling of feet, and the busyness of the whole neighborhood can keep you  awake at night. These noises will not be a problem for top floor dwellers, but  the trade-off is that the noise from the upper floors can wake you up.

When finding luxury apartments Melbourne, you must also consider the location of the unit in itself. After all, the noise, safety, and accessibility of your apartment can also affect how well you sleep at night. If you have the opportunity to choose between the two, choose the one that would give you the best quality of life you can afford.

 

This is a collaborative guest post, the ideas and views do not necessarily represent those of Mommy Ramblings.


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Teaching Your Children About the Relationship Between Time and Money

Sadly, we’re rarely taught in schools about money. Sure, we learn about Pythagoras Theorem but when was the last time that was useful in real life? Never, right?! Your children face the same dilemma with confusing messages about what money is and how it relates to time. It’s up to you as a parent to fill in the blanks for them, so they get a more well-rounded education. Here are some ideas on how to teach your children the connection between time and money.

Preschoolers and Kindergartners

You might think the little ones don’t notice how you spend money and what you do with it, but they do. In fact, many habits around money are created when only a few years old. As we know, kids model their parents’ behavior, so parents must set a good example.

Use a Mason Jar for Savings

While a piggy bank is more traditional, a mason jar is better because a preschooler or kindergartner can see the money inside. A small amount of savings can go a long way by slowly filling up the jar and having them see how much is in there.

Work = Money

Even a young son or daughter can begin to understand the importance of money. That mommy or daddy go out to work to earn money is something they can begin to understand. Their teacher at school makes money when teaching them too.

Things Cost Money

Showing how different items in the store cost different amounts is helpful. Even connecting which candies are tastier but cost more is a useful concept to share.

Cash

Middle School

Middle school students begin to see and touch money more often. However, that doesn’t mean that they understand how time equals money. That’s especially true when parents just hand them an allowance without having to do anything to earn it.

Pay vs Free Allowance

Kids shouldn’t be given a free allowance. This sets the stage for money being something they can just expect for free.

There’s plenty of age-appropriate chores around the house that middle schoolers are perfectly capable of doing, no matter how much they might moan about it. This might include tidying up their room and putting their toys away when they’re younger. Mowing the lawn when older and being supervised for safety reasons is another one. Dealing with the trash also makes clear that not every chore is necessarily pleasant, but rewards come from putting in the time.

Get Them Involved with Finding Bargains

Turn family food shopping into a game. Start with a budget for the week and let them plan out what should be purchased. Depending on their maturity and knowledge about what ingredients are needed for different meals, it might be necessary to create several meal plans with a list of ingredients, so they have a place to start.

They can then be allowed to choose between different meal ideas depending on the deals in the store that day. Offer them a financial incentive when they save money, as long as the meals are nutritious and sufficient for everyone in the household. Then have them save half of the money for a medium-term goal like buying a smartphone or a tablet.

Sale

Teenagers

With teenagers, aim for the bigger things to make an impact and let them feel more in control.

Free Samples

Teenagers love to get things for free but often don’t appreciate the time it takes to secure them. It’s true that many free samples require a time investment. And that’s perfectly okay. Most bargain hunting or coupon cutting takes time out of the day too.

Advise Against Student Loans

Teach teenagers to work part-time to make money to save for college. They’ll have an early financial goal to work towards and value the education far more. If they can get a scholarship, great, but don’t let them rely on that. Tell them that taking out student loans isn’t the answer because of all the hours of future work to repay the loans.

As long as children make a clear connection between time spent and money earned, they’ll be in a better position when they become adults. This connection avoids them spending frivolously without realizing the consequences down the line.

Student Loans

This is a collaborative guest post. The thoughts and views expressed do not necessarily represent those of Mommy Ramblings.


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Practical Ways To Help Your Adult Children

Raising children is very expensive, and just because they reach the age of 18, doesn’t mean  your responsibility ends. On the contrary, most parents continue to financially support their adult children in some way. Some parents want to ease their children’s financial burdens or to fund a business venture. Even retired parents find ways to assist their adult kids. If you are thinking about how you can best help your kids even if you are retired, we share a few common ways you can help below.

Set up College Funds

First, you could help to pay for college tuition. Going to college is expensive and it isn’t getting any cheaper. On top of that, professional jobs require a college degree, with even more requiring advanced degrees. If you want to help ease the financial burden of student loans, you can help out with their college tuition. This way, they won’t be graduating with a degree and a mountain of debt to repay.

There are several ways you can do this. You can open a separate savings account, then withdraw the money when your children or grandchildren are ready for it. You could also place the money in a trust, which would allow your child to access it when they turn 18. Finally, you could simply have the tuition payments directed to you and pay for the semesters as they come up. Whichever method you choose will depend on your own financial situation and how old your child is.

Help Then Become Homeowners

The other large payment many people have to deal with is their mortgage. Mortgage payments are large and last a very long time. If you want to help your children with a larger down payment for their new home, it will decrease the amount of the mortgage they need. If you son or daughter already has a home, helping them to pay off their mortgage sooner is very beneficial. While every dollar helps, you need to remember to keep your own future in mind. Talk to your kids about how much help they may need, then see if you can make it work.

Funding a New Business

If your child wants to start their own business, they may need additional funds to get it going. Starting a new business is expensive, if they don’t have enough money, they may not be able to do all the things they need to which could spell failure. If you believe in your child and their business plan, you should consider assisting them financially to get started.

Before you do, make sure the business plan is a solid one. While you want to help your kids, you don’t want to throw your money away on a bad idea. If you can, have an outside financial advisor review their business plan and give your their opinion if it is a wise investment. If not, consider other ways that you can help your child, or recommend ways they can improve their business model, so that you can help with funding.

Babysitting

Lastly, if you have grandchildren, you can always help with child care. Sending a child to daycare is expensive, and if your kids can skip it even once or twice a week by sending their kids to you, that will really add up in the long run. Not only do you get to help ease the financial burden of child care, but you get to spend time with your grandchildren as well.

Before you embark on this, make sure your home is safe and baby proofed. Have some fun things for the kids to do, as well as a safe play area with their favorite toys. You don’t have to turn your home into a daycare, but some preparation is a good idea.

How to Find Additional Funds

Now, maybe you want to help your children, but you aren’t sure you can afford it. If so, there are some ways that you can earn some additional funds during retirement. For starters, you could get a part-time job. Another option is downsizing your home which would lower your housing costs, especially your taxes. You could also talk to reverse mortgage lenders. You can use this reverse mortgage lender locater to get  started. There are many options, you just need to consider what’s right for you.

Helping Them Succeed

Being able to help your adult kids out is a great feeling. Even though they’ve left the nest (or are about to), it still feels good when you can help make their lives a little easier. Hopefully, the tips above provided you with some good ideas about how best to help your kids out even during your retirement.


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Children Are Being Bullied About This Common Issue

One common issue that many children (particularly boys) are bullied about is, large or protruding ears. A quick search on the Internet, will lead you to the accounts of thousands of children who report being bullied because their ears stuck out.  If your child is the target of bullying because of their ears, there is no denying it is causing them distress. Whether they are facing verbal, physical, cyberbullying or a combination of all three, there are some things you can do to help your child handle the situation.

What Causes Bullying? 

Bullying can happen for a multitude of reasons. Generally, bullies will hone in on anything that is considered ‘different’ from the norm, and continually draw attention to that to make them feel better about themselves. It could be a physical feature like protruding ears that is the focus of the bullying or something else.

While the motivations behind the bully’s actions may be unclear, they could be targeting your child because they feel jealous, want others to like them, want to fit in with their friends, because they’re angry with themselves, or because they like to exert power over others.

Tools To Help Your Child Manage

The first step to help your child manage the situation is to ensure they have the tools to be able to respond to the bullying when it happens. This might involve giving them tips on how to stand up for themselves, how to tell the bully what they’re doing is not okay, keeping their distance from the bully, or developing an understanding of  how their emotional response to the bullying will help them build resilience.

A good place to start is by seeking information and support from an organisation like BullyingUK, where you can find a range of resources and strategies to teach your child how best to manage the situation.

What are the other options?

While the ideal solution is for your child to develop the skills they need to effectively manage the bullying, if that does not work, you may look into surgical options to correct their protruding ears.

Otoplasty (or cosmetic ear surgery) is commonly requested by parents of children with prominent ears in the hope of sparing them relentless teasing or bullying. In many cases, the parents themselves have prominent ears, and don’t want their children to experience the same torment and pain they were subjected to at school.

Sometimes referred to as ‘ear pinning’, otoplasty is a surgical procedure that can set prominent ears back and closer to the head. This helps reduce the size of large ears or reshapes ears that are distorted or damaged with the goal of creating a more balanced and symmetrical appearance.

The procedure can generally be performed on children between the ages of  5-14, as the ears are almost fully grown by age 5. Some parents opt to have the surgery as soon as the child is of suitable age and prior to them becoming self-conscious to avoid the anticipated bullying in the school yard.

Resorting to surgery in young children is often a very tough decision, and not one that is taken lightly.  It is important that parents are both aware and supportive of their child’s feelings to ensure they want the procedure. It’s likely your child will also need to wear a headband for several weeks following the procedure, so it may be a good idea to schedule it during the summer or in conjunction with school holidays.

If otoplasty is something you would consider for your child, be sure to seek out an experienced professional who has valid qualifications and be sure to carefully weigh the benefits with the potential risks to ensure the best possible outcome for your child.

This is a collaborative guest post and does not necessarily represent the views or ideals of Mommy Ramblings.

 

 


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“A Short History Of The Girl Next Door” Blog Book Tour

Do you remember the feelings you had when you started high school? It can be a rough transition with everything in life changing, your friends, your school, even yourself.

A long time has passed since I started high school and yet, those feelings come right back when I think of it.  Jared Reck’s,  A Short History Of The Girl Next Door , goes on sale September 26th and is for readers 12 and up published by Alfred A. Knopf Books for Young Readers . This debut novel is perfect for readers who are stuck in that awkward limbo between childhood and adulthood (and those who just barely escaped).


About the Book:

Matt Wainwright is constantly sabotaged by the over dramatic movie director in his head. He can’t tell his best friend Tabby how he really feels about her, he implodes on the JV basketball team, and the only place he feels normal is in Mr. Ellis’s English class, discussing the greatest fart scenes in literature and writing poems about pissed-off candy-cane lumberjacks. If this were a movie, everything would work out perfectly. Tabby would discover that Matt’s madly in love with her, be overcome with emotion, and would fall into his arms. Maybe in the rain.

But that’s not how it works. Matt watches Tabby get swept away by senior basketball star and all-around great guy Liam Branson. Losing Tabby to Branson is bad enough, but screwing up and losing her as a friend is even worse. After a tragic accident, Matt finds himself left on the sidelines, on the verge of spiraling out of control and losing everything that matters to him.

The portrayal of adolescence will make you laugh out loud, break your heart, and maybe teach you a thing or two about basketball. Fiercely funny, undeniably honest and overflowing with heart, A Short History Of The Girl Next Door  is a poignant tale of falling in love, overcoming tragedy, and ultimately, redemption that you’ll be glad to have read.

About the Author:

Jared Reck (@reckj) is a debut author. He received a BA in English from Clemson University, a Masters in Educational Leadership, and recently earned a certification in Writing for Children & Young Adults. He lives in Hanover, Pennsylvania, where he’s an 8th grade Language Arts teacher.

So, can you relate to this book? Do you have a tween or teen or know one who would like to read this book? Let me know in the comments. Happy Reading.


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Caregiver Basket Tutorial

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #ConquerInco #CollectiveBias

Being a caregiver for a loved one is not easy, especially when it is a family member we are close to. After my mother passed away suddenly, I became a caregiver for my father. My father passed away 364 days after my mother. In those days there were many emotions that surrounded me, my own grief, my father’s grief and my children’s grief. Even though, it was a sad time, we still were able to do things together like go out to dinner, visit with friends and family, travel during the holidays and more. Those special times created many precious memories we treasure today.

My father never lost his love of cooking for his family, and he liked to get out and shop for the things he needed with me. One of his favorite stores was Sam’s Club. Sam’s Club made it easy for us to get everything we needed including all the caregiving needs for my dad.

Today, I have several close friends and relatives who are acting as caregivers for aging or sick parents.  I know they too, appreciate being able to have a one stop store like Sam’s Club where they can get all their essentials along with the caregiving supplies they need. Sam’s Club Members Mark Total Protection products like their adjustable briefs for men and women are the perfect choice to help your loved ones carry on doing the things they love, without losing their self-confidence. Total Protection briefs help them #conquerinco with quality and performance that is just as good if not better than the more expensive brands.

Loaded with features like adjustable side panels for a secure fit, these briefs quickly wick moisture into a super absorbent core for superior dryness. The odor guard technology gives wearers confidence to get out and do the things they want without fear. This is a great thing, because everyone should enjoy, every moment, doing the things they love for as long as possible. This means more fun times making cherished memories together.

Members Mark Total Protection products are located near the pharmacy department of  your local Sam’s Club. The large packs are affordably priced, giving you the great value and superior quality that Sam’s Club members like myself depend on.

Thinking about my friend, I decided that making a caregiver basket would be a really good thing. Many times as caregivers, we focus so much on the needs of others, we can forget to take care of ourselves. I wanted to make sure my basket would include things to help caregivers replenish their energy and hydrate their bodies so they can be the best they can be for their loved ones.

 

Below you can see a video tutorial for creating a caregiver basket. If you know someone who is caring for a loved one, why not make them up a similar basket to let them know you care about them.

 

I packed everything in a medium size plastic bin but you can use any kind of container that will fit the contents. Don’t stress too much over making it perfect, because the thought will mean the most to them.

What do you think about this basket? Do you think it is something a caregiver would appreciate?  Have you ever been a caregiver to someone. Let me know in the comments.


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A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Funeral

My last living uncle died last week. He was my Uncle Arthur, my father’s brother and we were very close. He was a big joker and his favorite thing to do when I was a kid was to pretend he was stretching my arm by pulling down on my wrist and pushing my shirt sleeve up. I was sort of transformed into a real life Stretch Armstrong doll.

My parents along with My Uncle Arthur and Aunt Ruth purchased second homes on the same lake in Upstate New York. Our houses were 2 houses apart and so needless to say, our families were very close. After my parents died, we grew even closer, especially when I had my fourth and fifth child who never had a chance to know their grandparents. My uncle and aunt happily took on the role of surrogate grandparents to them.

My uncle was 91 and a half, he lived a long, full life, but still it was sad to let him go. It was comforting when I learned from my cousin, that my uncle called my father’s name as if he were in the room, a few days before he passed. I imagine my dad was there to lead his younger brother home. We take great comfort that we have such loving angels watching over us.

My uncle’s wake was not a somber one. His son and two grandchildren printed out several, tiny heads of my uncle and placed them strategically on the photo boards lining the room. Then, my cousin encouraged everyone to find the “Little Arthur” heads. My uncle has forever said, he did not want anyone to be sad at his funeral. In fact, he said, he wanted a mechanical coffin that would open and raise him to a sitting position as his arm would swing out with a drink in his hand and his voice would invite everyone to toast to his life.

I should explain that humor and laughter are a big part of our Italian family. My uncle’s only son, claimed the photos were a way to put the fun in funerals just as his father would have wanted. When the Elks Club came to perform a tribute to honor my uncle’s lifetime of service, we actually joked that this was when the mechanical coffin would open. My uncle would have liked that we were laughing and joking, because he would not want us to be sad. As I said, he was always telling jokes. That is why I know what happened the next day, had to be orchestrated by my humorous uncle.

As we left the church the next day to head to the cemetery, my sister and I, who were driving together, asked how far the cemetery was. My one cousin said it was nearby, while another said it was not so close. Not really knowing which was the right answer, we hurried out of the bitter cold into the car and figured we would just follow along in the procession.

We were at least 5 or 6 cars behind the black hearse as we pulled out of the church parking lot. We had to get on to the highway, right after we did, a lane that was merging on caused a few cars to dart in front of us. As this happened, there was a bit of congestion on the road and we started to get nervous that we were going to get lost. I looked ahead and saw the hearse. “We are okay, the hearse is a few cars ahead of us.”, I said.

I did wonder how we got so close to the hearse and thought for a moment that maybe the other cars just went on ahead. We joked for a second about how bad it would be if we were behind the wrong hearse. I reassuringly stated, how unlikely it would be for the same black, Cadillac hearse, to be on the exact same stretch of road, at the exact same time. That seemed to make good sense, and we stayed where we were, following a Chevy Tahoe in the procession.

As we entered the Catholic cemetery, the cars came to a stop. The funeral director got out of the hearse and entered a building on the premises. We wondered why we were stopping, but after a few minutes, the funeral director emerged with someone else who drove ahead to lead the way to the correct plot.

As we started toward the gravesite, I turned to my sister and said,”How did we get so close to the hearse? Where are all the other cars that were in front of us? Where is our cousin Bruce and Aunt Ruth? They should be behind the hearse!”

She looked at me a bit puzzled. As we came to a stop behind the hearse, someone directed some of the cars to come right along side of our car and park. This meant we were completely blocked in. As the people started to get out of their cars, we did not recognize anyone. “Oh wait, isn’t that the lady that was sitting near us in the church?” My sister asked. Before I could answer, she said, “Oh no, that woman is much younger.”

What really shocked me is that no one was waiting for my cousin or aunt before going on to the gravesite and standing around the coffin. My sister and I were concerned,  I turned to look toward the last car. It looked like my cousin’s car, phew! “How did he end up all the way back there?” I asked. Then I turned and looked toward the coffin. The white flower spray looked like the one that had been on top of my uncle’s casket in the funeral home, but the casket itself…looked different! “Wasn’t Uncle Arthur’s coffin darker?” I asked my sister, hoping it was just the bright sun making it look so much lighter.

“Oh my gosh, you’re right! His coffin was much darker! That is not Uncle Arthur!”

We both looked frantically at each other and then pondered what we should do. We were completely blocked in. We could not say anything, that would be disrespectful. We quickly texted our oldest brother who is terrible at checking texts in a timely fashion.

When he did not answer, we called our other brother who answered his phone and asked where we were. We explained the situation, and he told us that my uncle’s service at the cemetery was already over and they were en-route to the restaurant. Then he asked if we had seen our aunt’s brother, because he was at the wrong funeral too. That made us feel a little better.

We started thinking about if the people around the casket were looking at us and wondering why we were still in the car talking and texting on our phones. Did they think we did not want to brave the cold, February wind or that we were too busy updating our Facebook statuses to join everyone else gathered around the grave? As we sat in disbelief wondering how this could happen, the graveside service ended, and the people started to walk toward their cars.

As the cars in front of us started to pull away, we could not help but laugh, because we knew that our uncle was pulling one of his best jokes on us from Heaven. We could hear him laughing and imagined he was telling everyone how his nieces, brother-in-law and later as we found out, our other 2 cousins, ended up at the wrong funeral.

Over the course of the next several hours at the restaurant, we laughed again and again at what had happened. It truly was straight out of a sitcom or movie script. I guess we know Uncle Arthur had the last laugh that day and that filled us with a great feeling.

As I write this, looking out on the lake I live on, the same lake my uncle’s and parents’ houses are on, I hear the Cardinals singing. I smile as I  know that Heaven is not so far away and angels are all around us. In our case, we have angels with a sense of humor along with great love. Love you Uncle Arthur, never lose your sense of humor!


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Filed under Humor, Life, Life Stages

Peace of Mind Thanks To #BayAlarmMedical

Thanks to Bay Alarm Medical for sponsoring this post. bay-alarm-5

After my mom died, my 87-year-old dad was living alone and I worried about him. Even though I lived only a few houses away, I wondered, what if he fell or had a medical emergency? That was when I got him a medical alert system that he wore on his wrist to call for help.  It gave me great peace of mind to know he would be able to immediately call for help if he fell or had a health issue.

My dad has since passed away but I was thinking about how medical alert systems are not just for the elderly but could be a life saver for anyone. They are especially helpful for individuals living alone especially in remote areas.

I remember the day a friend’s dad fell shoveling snow off his walk. He could not get up, the temperature was frigid and there were no close neighbors. My brother found him thankfully or he would have frozen to death.

I have a very close relative who is in his early 60’s, not elderly but a very active and vivacious man who lives in a remote location. I thought a Bay Alarm Medical Alert unit would be perfect for him. He is always doing work on his property out in the country. He chops wood, loves home improvement projects, mows with his tractor and maintains numerous bird feeders all over his yard.

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I wanted to help eliminate the stigma that a medical alert system is only for the elderly. I hoped he would be open to testing it out and indeed he was. The system we received included a main console, a secondary help button, which we mounted in the bathroom, a pendant, wrist unit, vial of life and a pair of Boomba socks.

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It was a very easy process to set it up and literally took about one minute. All we had to do was hook the main console unit up to the phone line. It is advised to test the unit after installation by pressing one of the help buttons.

We pressed the button on the pendant and a Bay Alarm Medical operator promptly answered through the main console and asked if we needed help. We knew quickly everything was ready to use in an emergency.

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Bay Alarm Medical sends a form that you can list the people you want called in an emergency in addition to 911 if necessary. Another helpful thing that comes with the system is a magnetic Vial of Life which can be filled in with any medications taken. It can be placed on the refrigerator using the magnet on the back. This will assist paramedics in an emergency situation.

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Inside the package was a pair of Boomba Socks, they come with every subscription as a Bay Alarm Medical partner. For each pair of socks they give away, they’ll donate an additional pair to the Socks in the City Program at the St. Anthony’s Foundation.

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The In-Home System like we installed for our loved one is Bay Alarm’s most popular unti and trained operators can respond through the main console 24/7. It does require a landline but there is an In-Home Cellular unit that gives 24/7 medical alert protection without a wired phone connection. That unit is powered by AT&T’s 3G Network.

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The Automatic Fall Detection unit works with both landline and cellular in-home alert systems and can automatically call for help if the individual cannot. They also have a GPS Help Button which literally can go anywhere because it has the speaker and button together in a compact mobile unit!

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I hope he never needs to use it but knowing he is only one button away from getting the help he needs gives me great peace of  mind.
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If you would like to learn more you can check out all the Bay Alarm Medical products on their website. Follow them on Facebook and Twitter to stay in the loop with them.
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So did you ever think about getting a unit like this for a loved one? I would love to hear your thoughts. Leave me a comment and let me know.

 


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Filed under Health, Life, Life Stages, Review