Lost Joy

So many thoughts have been running through my head the last few days following the horrific events in Newtown, CT.   20 beautiful, full of life,  first graders savagely killed in their own classrooms along with 6 administrators and teachers.  One of the clergy said something that really struck home, he said “It’s right before Christmas and these families lost their joy.”

As I went through my days after this, I could not help but think about what these families are going through, the what ifs and if onlys, the reminders, the heartbreaking sorrow, their lives forever changed.  The lives of the siblings who had their sister or  brother just ripped from their lives, the youngest ones who may not even be able to understand where their sister or brother is and why they’re not coming home.  The fear this strikes in all of us as parents, the not wanting to send our kids to school or let them out of our sight.  Last weekend when my little ones were opening the wrapped packages of ornaments for the advent tree and begged to do one more, I let them, knowing we are not promised tomorrow and to cherish the moment.

I imagine the heartache the parents  may feel as the wrapped gifts that were hidden for Christmas morning will not be opened.  They will not see the look in their child’s eyes as they open something they were longing for or see the wonder of Christmas through their eyes.  To have to make decisions no parent should have to make, to have the dreams they had for their child extinguished as their grief roars.

Today, as I sat watching Ethan and all the kindergarten classes perform the Nutcracker on stage, it was not the police presence at our rural school, or the heightened security or even the moment of silence we all observed, that struck me the most.  Seeing those precious 5 year olds so full of wonder, so full of life, so vibrant, so innocent and realizing that the actions of one individual took that away from so many families.  The hearts of the nation are breaking  for these families, keep them in your prayers.


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